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Stardew Valley friendship and marriage guide: How to woo your favorite villager

Find and woo your perfect spouse in Stardew Valley with this friendship and marriage guide for all romanceable characters.

Published onDecember 1, 2023

Stardew Valley friendship and marriage guide

Building friendships and finding a spouse are some of the most rewarding long-term goals in Stardew Valley. You can only have one husband or wife at a time (sorry, polygamists), but gaining friendship hearts with all villagers has other benefits.

This Stardew Valley friendship and marriage guide is focused on the bachelor and bachelorette villagers, which are the only ones available for marriage. Regardless of your character’s gender, all bachelors and bachelorettes are viable candidates, but once you get married all others act like normal villagers.

First, we’ll cover friendship and marriage basics, then we’ll dive into each character and how to best build your relationship with them. If you’re looking for more, check out our Stardew Valley tips and tricks guide as well as our extensive Stardew Valley fishing guide.

Stardew Valley friendship and marriage basics

Stardew Valley friendship and marriage menu

Friendship in Stardew Valley is represented by the heart meter. Normal villagers have 10 maximum hearts, with your spouse increasing to 12. You can find the full list in the menu, as seen above.

How to increase friendship

  • Talk to the villager every day.
  • Give them a gift they like twice a week.
  • Complete quests for them.
  • Make correct choices in heart events.
  • Dance or interact with them at certain festivals.

How to lose friendship

  • Don’t talk to a villager.
  • Give them a gift they don’t like.
  • Shoot them with the slingshot.
  • Search their trash when they are nearby.

Best gifts

Gift-giving is one of the best ways to improve your relationship with Stardew Valley’s villagers. Just grab an item that they’ll love or like (see below for ideal gifts), and drop it on top of them. You can do this once per day, and twice per week.

Item quality has a big effect on how effective your gifts are.

There is one exception to this rule: birthdays. You can always give a gift to a villager on their birthday, and you should because it has a much bigger effect and gives special dialogue. The Feast of the Winter Star event gift also gets a bonus to friendship ratings.

There are some items that, while not the best, still provide a good bonus when given to anyone. They include:

  • Fruits from trees
  • Maple syrup
  • Life elixir
  • Artisan goods other than oil and void mayonnaise
  • Cooked foods other than fried eggs, bread, and a strange bun
  • Flowers other than poppy
  • Gems and minerals other than quartz
  • Vegetables other than wheat and hops

How to get married

The heart events mentioned above are special events that are unique to each villager. They are unlocked at certain thresholds, which are usually two, four, six, eight, and ten hearts. After the two heart event, you can enter the villager’s bedroom, making it much easier to talk to find them every day.

You will not be able to increase past eight hearts with any marriage candidates without giving them a bouquet. You can buy the bouquet from Pierre’s General Store for 200 gold. After that, you unlock all 10 hearts and can gain them by any normal means.

It’s worth noting that you can date any or all of the villagers at the same time. Doing so has consequences, but they only last for a week and don’t prevent marriage with any given candidate. Don’t try this in real life.

When you reach 10 hearts and want to propose, you will need to give them the Mermaid’s Pendant. It can be purchased from the New Mariner across the broken bridge on the beach for 5000 gold. You will get married three days after gifting it to a villager, and all other suitors will return to normal villagers.

How to get divorced

If for whatever reason you are unhappy with your choice of spouse, Stardew Valley makes it easy to split up and choose another. Be careful though, because doing so will return them to 0 hearts, and trigger nasty conversations about how the marriage didn’t work out.

To divorce, just interact with the book inside the Mayor’s Manor. It will cost you 50,000 gold, but if you haven’t canceled it by the end of the day, your spouse and all their belongings will be removed from your house the next day. You get to keep any kids though, for what it’s worth. No shared custody here.

Your ex will then be labeled as such in the menu and will refuse any future gifts. However, once you unlock the Witch’s Hut you can erase all of your ex-spouses’ memories for the low cost of 30,000 gold. This will make it as though you had never met them before.

Abigail friendship guide

Stardew Valley Abigail

Birthday: Fall 13

Stardew Valley’s Abigail is the purple-haired daughter of Pierre and Caroline. She has some unusual hobbies, like hanging out in the graveyard and searching for frogs.

Where to find Abigail

Abigail lives behind Pierre’s General Store with her family. On sunny days she can be found on the bridge East of her father’s store.

Best gifts for Abigail

  • Amethyst
  • Blackberry Cobbler
  • Chocolate Cake
  • Golden Pumpkin
  • Pearl
  • Prismatic Shard
  • Pufferfish
  • Pumpkin
  • Rabbit’s Foot
  • Spicy Eel

Alex friendship guide

Stardew Valley Alex

Birthday: Summer 13

Stardew Valley’s Alex loves sports and aspires to be a professional athlete. He spends a lot of time working out at the spa or lounging on the beach, and always has a big breakfast. Learn more about his complicated family history in his heart events.

Where to find Alex

Alex lives in the house southeast of Pierre’s General Store with his grandparents, George and Evelyn. He can be found working at the ice cream stand in Summer or at the spa in Winter.

Best gifts for Alex

  • Complete Breakfast
  • Golden Pumpkin
  • Pearl
  • Prismatic Shard
  • Rabbit’s Foot
  • Salmon Dinner

Elliott friendship guide

Stardew Valley Elliott

Birthday: Fall 5

Stardew Valley’s Elliott is a writer who lives alone on the beach. A romantic to the end, he loves poetry and flowery language.

Where to find Elliott

Elliott lives in the small cabin on the beach by himself. He can often be found walking from his home to Pierre’s General Store or pondering his latest novel near the water in front of Leah’s house.

Best gifts for Elliott

  • Crab Cakes
  • Duck Feather
  • Golden Pumpkin
  • Lobster
  • Pearl
  • Pomegranate
  • Prismatic Shard
  • Rabbit’s Foot
  • Tom Kha Soup

Emily friendship guide

Stardew Valley Emily

Birthday: Spring 27

Stardew Valley’s Emily is the blue-haired sister of Haley. She works part-time at the Stardrop Saloon, but her real passions are making her own clothing, gems, and meditation.

Where to find Emily

Emily lives with her sister Haley at 2 Willow Lane. It’s the house with the sun above the door, Southwest of the Pelican city square. Most days she can be found working at the Stardrop Saloon after 4 PM.

Best gifts for Emily

  • Amethyst
  • Aquamarine
  • Cloth
  • Emerald
  • Golden Pumpkin
  • Jade
  • Pearl
  • Prismatic Shard
  • Rabbit’s Foot
  • Ruby
  • Survival Burger
  • Topaz
  • Wool

Haley friendship guide

Stardew Valley Haley

Birthday: Spring 14

Stardew Valley’s Haley is the glamourous sister of Emily. Growing up rich, she has a taste for luxury, but she also enjoys gardening and photography.

Where to find Haley

Haley lives with her sister Emily at 2 Willow Lane. It’s the house with the sun above the door, Southwest of Pelican city square. She can usually be found near the Community Center fountain or taking pictures by the river South of Marnie’s Ranch. In Summertime she likes to hang out with her friend Alex at the Ice Cream stand near the Museum.

Best gifts for Haley

  • Coconut
  • Fruit Salad
  • Golden Pumpkin
  • Pearl
  • Pink Cake
  • Rabbit’s Foot
  • Sunflower

Harvey friendship guide

Stardew Valley Harvey

Birthday: Winter 14

Stardew Valley’s Harvey is the town doctor. He spends most of his time working, giving each villager their annual check-up.

Where to find Harvey

Harvey can usually be found working in the town Clinic. His apartment is also in the Clinic, and when he’s not there he can be found walking around the town.

Best gifts for Harvey

  • Coffee
  • Golden Pumpkin
  • Pearl
  • Pickles
  • Prismatic Shard
  • Rabbit’s Foot
  • Super Meal
  • Truffle Oil
  • Wine

Leah friendship guide

Stardew Valley Leah friendship guide

Birthday: Winter 23

Stardew Valley’s Leah is an aspiring artist who’s new to Pelican Town. She spends most of her time sculpting and going for walks in the woods near her cottage.

Where to find Leah

Leah lives in the small cottage just south of Marnie’s Ranch. She spends most mornings sculpting at home, but in the afternoon you can find her at Pierre’s General Store, the beach, or walking around the woods near her cottage.

Best gifts for Leah

  • Goat Cheese
  • Golden Pumpkin
  • Pearl
  • Poppyseed Muffin
  • Prismatic Shard
  • Rabbit’s Foot
  • Salad
  • Stir Fry
  • Truffle
  • Vegetable Medley
  • Wine

Maru friendship guide

Stardew Valley Maru

Birthday: Summer 10

Stardew Valley’s Maru is the daughter of the town carpenter Robin and Demetrius. She loves tinkering with machinery and doing experiments with her scientist father. She works part-time at the town clinic.

Where to find Maru

Maru lives with her parents in the mountains north of Pelican Town. When she isn’t in the lab at home, she enjoys sitting on one of the town benches near the saloon or Community Center. She works at Harvey’s clinic on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Best gifts for Maru

  • Battery Pack
  • Cauliflower
  • Cheese Cauliflower
  • Diamond
  • Gold Bar
  • Golden Pumpkin
  • Iridium Bar
  • Miner’s Treat
  • Pearl
  • Pepper Poppers
  • Prismatic Shard
  • Rabbit’s Foot
  • Rhubarb Pie
  • Strawberry

Penny friendship guide

Stardew Valley Penny

Birthday: Fall 2

Stardew Valley’s Penny is Pam’s quiet and modest daughter. She’s good friends with Sam and spends a lot of time tutoring Jas and Vincent at the museum.

Where to find Penny

Penny lives with her mother in the trailer near the river. She tutors Jas and Vincent at the museum on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday, although she takes the Summer off. She can often be found reading near the Graveyard or sitting on one of the town’s benches.

Best gifts for Penny

  • Diamond
  • Emerald
  • Golden Pumpkin
  • Melon
  • Pearl
  • Poppy
  • Poppyseed Muffin
  • Prismatic Shard
  • Red Plate
  • Roots Platter
  • Sandfish
  • Tom Kha Soup

Sam friendship guide

Stardew Valley Sam

Birthday: Summer 17

Stardew Valley’s Sam is a young man who loves to play music. His room is filled with musical instruments, and he hopes to start a band with his friend Sebastian.

Where to find Sam

Sam lives with his mother Jodi and little brother Vincent at 1 Willow Lane. It’s the blue house Southwest of the Pelican town square. He works part-time at JojaMart on Mondays and Wednesdays and spends many mornings playing music in his bedroom.

Best gifts for Sam

  • Cactus Fruit
  • Golden Pumpkin
  • Maple Bar
  • Pearl
  • Pizza
  • Prismatic Shard
  • Rabbit’s Foot
  • Tigerseye

Sebastian friendship guide

Stardew Valley Sebastian

Birthday: Winter 10

Stardew Valley’s Sebastian is a loner who lives in the basement of his parents’ house in the mountains. He spends most of his time alone on the computer, but does occasionally leave to hang out or play pool with his friends Sam and Abigail.

Where to find Sebastian

Sebastian lives with Robin and Demetrius in the Carpenter’s Workshop north of town. He typically doesn’t leave his room until nighttime, when he goes for a walk around town or a smoke near his home.

Best gifts for Sebastian

  • Frozen Tear
  • Golden Pumpkin
  • Obsidian
  • Pearl
  • Prismatic Shard
  • Pumpkin Soup
  • Rabbit’s Foot
  • Sashimi
  • Void Egg

Shane friendship guide

Stardew Valley Shane

Birthday: Spring 20

Stardew Valley’s Shane is Marnie’s nephew who suffers from depression and alcohol dependence. He doesn’t have any friends in town, but he does have a strong affinity for chickens.

Where to find Shane

Shane lives with his aunt Marnie at her ranch. He spends all day working at JojoMart, then heads directly to the Stardrop Saloon after work.

Best gifts for Shane

  • Beer
  • Golden Pumpkin
  • Hot Pepper
  • Pearl
  • Pepper Poppers
  • Pizza
  • Prismatic Shard
  • Rabbit’s Foot

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