Samsung posted a video today that demos several of the new features that are going to come to the Galaxy S3 via a software update at some point in the future. It’s not very long, so I recommend you watch it. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Now that you’re done, do you feel as sick as I do right now?

The first feature, Page Buddy, is a poor implementation of what Motorola calls “Smart Actions“. Basically you plug your headphones into your device and something happens. The page that pops up in this case, it brings up the generic MP3 player widget. Can you customize the page? No, you can’t.

Context Menu, I’m not going to lie, is a genuinely good idea. Instead of listing applications based on the order you installed them or their alphabetical order, Samsung gives you an option to list them by the frequency that they’re used. It’s something that seems so obvious you wonder why it hasn’t always been this way.

Contextual Tag is … let’s just say that it took about 50 taps to turn it on and I still have no idea what it’s for. Can you help me figure it out?

Next up is Multi Window, something we first saw on the Galaxy Note. Put simply, you can have two applications opened side by side. Not all your apps will be able to support this mode, but a majority of the ones you use on a daily basis should work just fine.

Auto Share Shot Pairing, like Contextual Tag, not only has a terrible name, but you need to go through about 15 submenus to enable the feature. Is it even useful? I can’t tell.

Reader Mode is something Apple put in Safari in iOS over a year ago. Apple even called it “Reader”, so for Samsung to call it “Reader Mode” is a bit funny and somewhat awkward.

And finally there’s Facebook Lock Ticker. Samsung has written something that lets you check your Facebook feed while your device is locked. Where have we seen this before? Oh right, on Windows Phone 8.

Some of you might be wondering if I have something against Samsung. I honestly don’t, and I hope Santa gets me a Note II for Christmas. But some of the promotional videos that this company puts out just completely boggle my mind.