It’s official: Vertu’s first Android phone has horrible specs, costs over $10,000

February 12, 2013
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Nokia used to make crazy expensive phones under the Vertu brand, but last year they decided to sell that small part of the company to some hedge fund manager with more money than common sense. Vertu phones, in case you don’t know that much about them, were never really high end. In fact, most of them were feature phones.

Why did they cost so much? Because they were made out of gold, had diamonds all over them, and other expensive precious gems and metals.

We’ve known for a while now that Vertu was going to make an Android phone, and today, thanks to the BBC, we now know more about the device. Let’s start with the most important part, the price. It’s going to run you 7,900 Euros, which translates to $10,576.52. What do you get for the equivalent of a down payment on a house? An 800 x 480 pixel resolution screen, 1.5 GHz processor (single/dual core?), and … wait a minute, you’re still reading this?

You can afford a $10,500 phone?

People want to feel exclusive, like they belong to some sort of club that no one else can be a member of. It’s kind of hard to do that in today’s world of mass produced consumer goods. The truly niche things, hand made luggage, hand made cars, and in this case, hand made phones, are for the type of people who want to project an image of financial success so we, the regular people, know our place in society.

This bag is for people like me, not for people like you. This car is for people like me, not for people like you. This Samsung Galaxy S4, shit, it’s just $199 with a two year contract.

Guess it’s not special.

Update: Here’s the phone’s official website. It’s called the Vertu Ti, it has a dual core 1.7 GHz processor, 1 GB of RAM, an 8 megapixel rear camera, speakers tuned by Bang & Olufsen, and it runs Android 4.0 Ice Cream Sandwich.

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