Conan’s iPhone 5 stolen by Samsung ahead of launch day, probably to check its weird specs and features

September 14, 2012
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The Apple vs Samsung patent-based legal conflict doesn’t need any more introductions as, no matter whether you followed it closely like we did or not, you have probably heard about the South Korean’s huge defeat in one of the U.S. cases between them.

The jury found that a variety of Galaxy-based devices infringed on several Apple patents and that Samsung has to pay Apple $1.05 billion in damages. Even Conan O’Brian made fun of Samsung during the trial in one of his shows, clearly suggesting that Samsung is indeed following Apple’s lead. Fast forward a few months and it looks like everything worked out against Conan, as Samsung took direct action against him and his iPhone 5 hands-on preview that should have taken place a few days ahead of the phone’s official launch day. Just check out the video below to see what happened:

So why was Conan’s iPhone 5 stolen by Samsung? Well, the Android maker may have been interested in the new iPhone’s specs and features, at least those presented by Conan’s Team Coco. Here’s what Samsung may be interested in finding out more details about when looking at the device:

  • During the iPhone 5 unveiling in San Francisco, a gentle hush descended across the Earth. Dogs and cats snuggled, doves wept with joy, and mortal enemies everywhere briefly set aside their differences and commenced feverishly swapping spit.
  • The new iPhone is 18% thinner and 20% lighter than the 4S, making it the first smartphone with specs one can measure in Triscuits.
  • Apes that touch the glowing new mini-monolith are suddenly able to turn basic tools into weapons.
  • You will still probably have to stand in line for four hours outside an Apple Store next to a lumberjack who just discovered dub-step and two bloggers wearing Atticus Finch glasses narrating their Tumblrs to each other.
  • The new iPhone 5 magically induces people with the iPhone 4S to bite the insides of their cheeks until they tasted blood.
  • Siri has been upgraded; the “intelligent personal assistant” will tell you sports scores, and automatically place bets with your bookie.
  • The iPhone 5’s 8MP camera is slimmer than before, and can make that can of Beefaroni look like Mario Batali is your personal chef.
  • The elongated display is newly optimized for those with freakishly nimble asparagus fingers.
  • Apple’s new battery promises 225 hours of standby and is powered by the tears of Chinese laborers.
  • The iPhone 5 is made out of a nanomorph mimetic poly-alloy, which means if you smash it against your desk in a frothing rage, it will reduce itself to a pool of liquid metal, then quietly reform back to its prior shape.
  • The iPhone 5 has 4G-LTE network connectivity, so you’ll be able to download alt-folk dirges off of iTunes nanoseconds before they’re cool.
  • The iPhone 5 will sprout spider legs and use digestive acids to liquify any Samsung Galaxy 3’s in the vicinity.
  • Price: 199.99 for 16GB, $299.99 for 32GB, $399.99 for 64GB with two year contract signed in bone marrow.

Yes, this all of the above, including video and the weird iPhone 5 characteristics, is parody and should be treated accordingly. And no, Samsung didn’t steal any iPhone 5. They have enough cash to buy one when it comes out next week and explore it themselves.

Comments

  • Mitul Mittal

    That is awesome.

  • ffoenix

    Lol. So Samsung is LITERALLY stealing from Apple.

    • http://www.facebook.com/MulletManJeff Jeff Canafax

      technically they are stealing from Conan

      • ffoenix

        Lol. tru dat:)

  • Robbiegod

    haha, and the specs on the Galaxy s3 are much better then the iphone5. God knows what Samsung has in store for the S4 which will probably be out in 6 months or less.

    • http://twitter.com/Heli12345 Heli12345

      DISCLAIMER: I am not trying to start a war.

      What most people over on the Android side don’t seem to understand is that the iPhone is not focused on the hardware aspects of the phone, but moreover the software side of the phone. It doesn’t matter if it has an 8-core processor or a single core processor, a gig of ram or a 100, all that matters is that the OS runs perfectly smooth. Yes, Apple locks down a ton of stuff on the OS, but that is to make it a much simpler experience for the general consumer that just wants everything to work. Android is a much more complicated system when compared to iOS because of the fact that it keeps almost everything open to the consumer. This is much better for people that really want to customize their phone exactly the way they want, but to the general consumer, it is way too much, hence, they choose the iPhone.

      • Faiz

        Seems like you have never used an Android before and based your judgement on things you read on the internet. Android is as complicated as you want it to be. Don’t want it to be complicated? Use the stock OS and don’t mess around with it then, just like iOS. If it is really complicated for someone to use, they must be dumb.

        • mobilemann

          he’s saying android is more complicated at said base level. It’s not really, but i almost want to agree with him because the fanboy’s on this site are to much to bear.

          It’s ok to be enthusiastic, but not stupid and enthusiastic.

          • EddieT

            i think some Android people are THAT way because some iFans reiterate Apple’s isheep (marketing) mentality as being a Holly Truth.. better, non fragmented
            ..higher quality, etc.. (which most ifans don’t even know what fragmentation really means or how it affects them personally, yet they reverb it all the time ~i don’t know any Android users that talk about fragmentation because it doesn’t affect them) ~ it is just natural for Android fans to get riled up if they are being constantly attacked. i mean seriously, can’t we all just get along? Android is about choice.. and is open to other phones existence alongside its users. i for one don’t like being mass bullied about my choice to go the Android/Samsung way. And, it has nothing to do with the phone looking like an Apple product. i care less about what the phone or the icons ultimately looks like. i care more about the customization and the amount of hardware/software options i have available, to be as productive as i like. If not for Samsung, I would have went to another Android smartphone, probably Motorolla, or opted for a Windows based smartphone (anything other than iphone)

          • mobilemann

            i’ve had 2 android phones so far (apart from my og incredible) a gnex and a sg3. Honestly, android fans are easily twice as aggressive, twice in number, and just as likely to make stuff up about the competing platforms users. You have a false view of your peers, probably clouded by your own biases.

    • mobilemann

      you don’t know what an A6 is, so you can’t say that.

  • Norm Mosley

    Why has the uploader of the video made it not viewable in my country?
    What an idiot!