I don’t know how to break this to you, but you’re frustrated. If you’re reading this, and you use iOS or Android, you’re just plain frustrated. If you don’t think you are, it’s only because you haven’t realized it yet. Take a minute for that to sink in. It’s a lot, I know.

If you doubt that you are, please don’t. It is the gospel according to Microsoft, and therefore true. In an interview recently, Bill Gates had the following to say about us:

[quote qtext=”But a lot of those users are frustrated, they can’t type, they can’t create documents, they don’t have Office there, so we’re providing them with the benefits of something they’ve seen and made that a big category, but without giving up what they expect in a PC.” qperson=”” qsource=”” qposition=”center”]

That’s right. The slowly decaying PC market is just fine. In fact, we just want it in tablet form! That’s so comforting to hear. I was worried for a minute. Or was I?

If that doesn’t convince you as to how frustrated you are, there was also this:

[quote qtext=”Windows 8 is revolutionary in that it takes the benefits of a tablet and the benefits of a PC, and it’s able to support both of those – so if you have Surface, Surface Pro, you’ve got that portability of a tablet but the richness of a PC in terms of the keyboard, Microsoft Office of a PC.” qperson=”” qsource=”” qposition=”center”]

Who knew?! We love Office, and we need it on the tablet. That’s refreshing to hear. I was wondering why I have been so frustrated lately. I create and edit in Google Drive, and it suits me just fine. Still, I can’t shake those feelings of angst. I so longingly wondered what was making me sob gently at night.

At first, I wondered if it was because my devices were affordable. Maybe being able to afford things like rent and dinner were making me sad. Then, I thought maybe it was because I had too many good apps on my devices. There is so much variety, I just get overwhelmed. I need limitations, I guess.

After thinking about it for a little while, I began to wonder if it was because I hated the look of Android. I’m like anyone else, I get tired of seeing the same screen all the time. I can move stuff around, and change the background image… but is that enough? Then I remembered I could root the device and flash a new ROM, even a theme. That made me feel a little bit better.

I thought about Bill’s comment about typing, too. He’s right, you know? Typing on a virtual keyboard is tough sometimes. I guess I could download a different keyboard, or maybe buy a Bluetooth keyboard. That wouldn’t really — no, it’s exactly the same as a Surface tablet.

Wait a minute, here. Something is wrong. I love Android! I don’t miss Windows or Office at all! In fact, I’m happy to have shed it. There is nothing about a PC I miss on my Nexus 7, either. I can create documents just fine on Drive, or even via other apps.

microsoft Credit: Voxpelli/Flickr

Even if I did need better editing abilities, I could get a Chromebook. They’re really similar to the Surface tablet in terms of size, and still a fraction of the cost. There is also the very real possibility that Google will release a Chrome tablet soon… and that we’ll see Microsoft Office for Android very soon.

Microsoft has some good business software, but there are a lot of businesses switching to Google for their enterprise solutions. Schools are also getting into Chromebooks. Those are two institutions that really need computers, so how can they switch? Don’t they miss the PC? Clearly, they don’t.

After all that, I have to say that Bill gates is right. I am frustrated. With Microsoft.

Overpriced hardware, a clunky OS, and slanderous marketing do not earn my loyalty or respect. Rather, they cause me to doubt your products. When Steve Jobs told users they were holding their device wrong, it not only called into question his temporary sanity, but the phone itself. Was it poorly designed? Not really, but once you start taking shots, rules of engagement come into play.

Microsoft has some real potential to make room for itself, but not like this. These statements are, perhaps, the boldest and most plain example of Microsoft’s delusion that we’ll all come back to them. We won’t.